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Call of Duty: Edge Ops
This is a parody of this https://creepypastas-with-no-limit.fandom.com/wiki/CoD:_Black_Hell_Ops The Thing I've always enjoyed playing Call of Duty. I have every game in the series including both Modern Whorefares, and Potatoes at Onion. It was June 9, 2010. I heard from a buddy of mine that they're releasing a new CoD entitled "Black Cocks". I was so excited over this discovery, that I wanted to see if I could somehow get a bootleg copy of it. I checked out Craplist to see if I could find anyone to grant my wish. I found a bitch named "Fucking Cocktail Weenie". This "Fucking Cocktail Weenie" was actually an 15-year-old high school girl. I contacted her through email asking if she has a copy. She replied to my email "I do have a copy, come to my apartment on R34, East 69th Danbooru". I proceeded to walk to her apartment the next day. She answered by opening the door slowly and greeting me by saying "I've been waiting for you, Patrick" quoting SpongeBob. I asked where her parents were. She replied "the game". I gave her a look of confusion. "I'd be willing to give you this copy if you give me a grand," she said. Now because I'm very generous, I gave her $5000, and left her small apartment. I did notice a strange thing about the copy however. Instead of it saying "CoD:BC" in permanent marker (In crudely drawn letters), it said "CoD:EO". This baffled me, as I did not know what the "EO" means, but I digress. I then proceeded to put my purple Memorex disc into my PS3. As it does with the current CoD's it shows the gheyarch logo, and then goes to the CoD title screen. I was so excited. I have the newest copy of CoD that no one else in the world has, or hasn't heard of yet. I didn't feel like trying out campaign yet, so I did my favorite mode in CoD. Which is Zambies. It had maps "Numa Numa" and one I've never seen before called "ад". I was baffled over the map's name. I would expect it to have more of a better name. I decided to play ад. The map looked liked in what seems Rushya. The map seemed too big to be a normal zambie map. I ignored this however, and played it. The weirdest thing about the zambies is that they have unicorn horns sticking out of the Rushin ushankas they're wearing. Then, the freakiest thing happened. It seems that hands started sticking out of the ground. When I saw this, I thought that this was just a glitch, or that this was just a beta version of the game. The next part scared me the most. it showed my character looking down to his feet as he's being pulled through the ground by the hands, and screaming and begging for his life in what seems like Rushin. After this event, I noticed something. "ад" is Rushin for "Hell". My heart is pounding as I'm falling through black empty space. As this is happening, an eerie banjo melody is playing in the background. The Rushin town map, is soon replaced by a town of what seems like Hiroshizoreru after it was struck with the nuke. Potatoes are everywhere. Some are sweet potatoes. In my head, I was thinking of how the developers could be so insensitive. I'm starting to think that this isn't a beta copy, and that it's just a disc modded by a sick-minded person. In pure anger, I emailed Fucking Cocktail Weenie. I waited 3 days, but no response from her. I just better continue on with the game, and see what other terrible things I can find. In the Hiroshizoreru map, the zambies were skeletons. Some of them were so hyperrealistic, that I had pure look of terror every minute I was playing. In the game, hanging from the remains of what seemed to be a destroyed house, was a wooden sign that read, "Go fuck yourself Zach?" As this point, Im crying tears. This game knew my name. This is not normal for a game. I was thinking that this game was not modded. It's haunted. It's no wonder that Fucking Cocktail Weenie gave this to me for no price. She wanted rent money. And when she said "the game" after her response to where I asked her parent's were, she must've meant that her parents went missing, or something far more worse, after playing it. Finally, after 4 days, Fucking Cocktail Weenie replied to my email, or so I thought. The email said "Cocktail Weenie is not here right now. Don't even think of returning the game if that's what you're thinking of doing. I raped that Fucking Cocktail Weenie". I was crying in terror after I read this. I continued the game. This time the music has changed. This time a Jap shouted "You are a worthless, friendless, faggot-lipped little piece of shit whose daddy left mommy when he figured out she wasn't a kardashian and who's now weeping and slobbering like a fucking nine-year-old girl!". I'm thinking that it's the asshole from Hiroshizoreru speaking to me, saying that I'm a cunt. I was still crying tears, so I decided to quit playing. At this time it's 4:30 PM, so I have time to take a walk and forget about this. I'd tell my mom about this, but she would freak if she found out I spent $5000 on a turd. Goodbye cruel world. Category:Cringe